Fake facades faking smiles

Happiness. It's what we all want, what we all desire so much to have. But it's so hard to come by, and it can be snatched away within seconds. It's a delicate thing. Before the past few months, I couldn't remember the last time I was happy, the last time I felt good. I was so down and out. I felt like I had struck out in the bottom of the ninth and there was no turning back. I felt like I wasn't good enough for anything or anyone. I felt used and abused, and by that point, I was done. I gave up on everything. I let my dreams escape me, I forgot who I was, and I just stopped believing in everything: myself, others, and God. But I was good. I kept a facade up that showed people that nothing was wrong. I told people every day that I was happy and that nothing was wrong. I guess they never asked the right question, or I would have spilled my guts. At first, I cried myself to sleep for the longest time because I was just so angry and scared of everything, I don't know why. But eventually, by the beginning of my senior year, I was just numb. I felt nothing. I didn't have happiness, or anger, or sadness anymore; I had nothing. My emotions were stripped from me, and thrown away. I had given up on everything, I felt worthless, and I still had on my mask of fake smiles and artificial happiness. But I met someone that I can honestly say helped change my life. He was so irritating because he was happy, and it just radiated off of him. He never frowned or said a negative thing. It made me want to hate him, but I couldn't, I wanted to know why. Why he was the way he is. What made him so happy and joyful about life. That's when he invited me to his church, and I said yes. Something inside of me said that it would be worth it.
That Friday night changed my life. I met people that, even though I was new, accepted me for who I was. And that night, I met God again. It changed my outlook on life and it changed the way I viewed myself. Of course, it took more than one night, and it's still a work in progress. But I can honestly say that I shed some of my cracking layers that night, and ever since then I've been shedding more. The true me is becoming more visible, and I'm starting to realize that I was always good enough. I am perfect beyond all doubt because God made me this way. I will always be the perfect me, especially to Him. I still have moments of doubt about myself, but not the way it used to be. He is always there because when I doubt and when I'm low, He always shows me the light within myself and He always helps me back up.